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[personal profile] mrbigsteve
It is days like today that make me wonder about my role as a mediator among the different circles I meander in. It is also days like today that make me ever so immensely glad to not be in Albany any more.

Last week was a bit odd for me... I had a number of people unfriend me, one a day. Now normally, this kind of thing would make me go "eh". The first was doing a purge, and we never really had that strong of a relationship anyway. The second may have just been doing some cleaning, the third was... I don't know quite what the third was. Whatever. It was just the timing of things that made me stop for a moment.

Fast forward to this week and I am watching a veritable shitstorm of drama flying around people in the capital district. A war because, quite frankly, one person didn't think. The point at which their thought processes stopped is subject to opinion. Perhaps it was when they found someone's LJ account open and decided to read through entries that they were otherwise barred from. Perhaps it was when they wrote about breaking the trust among a number of people just because they wanted to get their spiteful little jollies. Maybe it was when they decided to *brag* about doing such a thing and spit forth numerous inflammatory comments about what they'd read. (If you're still waffling on whether they possess cerebral capacities at all, this person promptly threw up their hands, denied all blame in the matter, and cut and run. While not polite, this may turn out to be their first intelligent decision in the process)

Of course, faulty thought processes are not solely the realm of this person. When someone gets involved with one sibling, then the other, and nobody actually talks to anyone else about it and hurt feelings are the result, "Really fucking dumb" can be freely applied to any of them. Rest assured, dear readers, it has been. Numerous times. Unfortunately, I've not done so directly since I've been removed by 150 miles or more.

It is easy for me to sit back now, look at these people, and say "What a dumbass." Had I been local when all of this was starting up, I might have gathered the energy to sit the aforementioned siblings down and say "What the FUCK do you think you're doing?" (the first non-thinker referenced above was written off years ago back when they wrote what I feel to be one of the most self-important (and simultaneously condescending and self-denying) letters I've ever seen a 19 year old put to text)

The peacemaker in me pokes his head out and asks "Could I have done something to stop this?"

And the part of me that has spent so much time developing comes forth to say "It's not your fucking problem."

And then I kick back with another beer to wait and see who'll be the next person to fall through the ice on hypothermia theater.

Date: 2004-10-20 10:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
wow. i actually figured out what you were probably referencing and i am also very glad not to be involved or even knowledgeable that anything was happening.


miss you btw.

but now i have to go unfriend you to add to your paranoia.

Date: 2004-10-20 10:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Thought I'd mention Jenn and I are looking to be in Boston the weekend of December 17-19. Any ideas on your availability? Jenn and the rest of the Albany WimminFolke are also plotting for Birka... I have no idea if I'm going or not yet, since I can't look that far ahead.

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I'm in.

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Date: 2004-10-20 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

come to Prophecy so i can FINALLY meet you!!

(oh, and if there's a chance you might, let me know so i can bring you some Stevia sweetner packets)

Date: 2004-10-20 10:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I understand completely. I don't know what happened, because I don't tend to read a lot of the commentary on posts. But being my own 90 something miles away in the other direction of Albany while this chaos has been going on is a wierd feeling.

Date: 2004-10-20 10:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That discomfort you feel is the emergence of your own SEP field. In time you will come to know, love, and embrace it and its assistance in retaining your sanity.

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Huzzah! I'm out of the loop!

Date: 2004-10-20 10:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have no idea who you are talking about, but am secretly glad.

Well, maybe not so secretly....

::stir stir stir::

Date: 2004-10-20 11:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Okay, I'll bite, what the hell letter are you talking about?
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Date: 2004-10-20 11:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Or maybe this one?

Um, yeah. Hawk mentioned stuff to me at Hunter's last year which was, in the majority, fiction. I had no idea where he came up with half of that stuff, and I figured it was just hearsay, but now you're mentioning it too.

I'm not sure what precisely you mean by 'food and shelter" but here's what Hawk said that was just entirely false

That I "had a problem leaving my dishes under the bigtop or back in the sink and that I should know that everyone is expected to clean up after thmselves." Bollocks I left my dishes anywhere. The only time I /ever/ had my dishes out of my tent were for the pig roast and the last day food merge feast. I never left them anywhere because every meal I didn't eat topside I ate in my tent, out of my cooler, all by myself. I cleaned them with clorox wipes, and they went back into their neat little pile under my viking chair. I'm sure my tankard spent an excessive amount of time under the bigtop, but so did everone elses. Please elaborate on what the actual problem here is.

Then Hawk went on to tell me that on the night of the storm, when I had to kick out the poles on my screen room and spread the tarp over it that I was "/complaining/ that I had to spend the night under the big top." Give me such a break. I did nothing of the sort. Now, I'm not sure what Sylvie, who was my roommate, was doing, because after we dropped the tent she disappeared. I quite humbly gathered up my bedding and slept on the ground next to the camel hump. I didn't whine, I didn't complain, I didn't scream or cry or moan or anything of the sort. In the morning when a good chunk of my stuff was wet, I gave it the typical Ali cynically embittered "Figures with my luck" and cleaned everything up, dried it, packed it, and got ready to go home. I was pretty sad that I managed to murder my fox that I had just bought the night prior, but hey. Life goes on.

(to be continued...)

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Date: 2004-10-20 11:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You mean this one?

Amy, Amy, Amy- By god, don't honestly tell me you agree with them. You, Rowan & Siobhan, Brett, Zippy, Shelly, Gail, Aj, Andrew and Big Steve are the only reasons I'm sorry to leave the 'Folke. Honestly, sweetheart, don't assume I'm heartbroken over this. Insulted, yes, deeply insulted. But I'm glad to be rid of it. I cannot say that the drunken debauchery mad sex thing is really my scene. Nor is fighting. I think someone, somewhere, has their information convoluted. I hardly need acclamating. I've been camping outdoors every summer since I was born. I rarely had a choice in the matter, as I was dragged along with my family. I'm well seasoned. I go to SCA events at home all the time. I go to practices, socials, demos. I hang out with SCAdians at least twice a week. I've been in the SCA a full year and a half longer than you- and no one denied you your second Pennsic. The way you guys keep treating this is really disgusting. I'm not five. I'm not a newbie. I'm not bad at camping. I'm really good at it, actually. I knew what I had to bring. I knew what to expect weather-wise. I knew what to do. The 100% reason I didn't have an appropriate tent is because I can't afford one. So I made do. And some of my stuff got damp, big fucking deal, why is everyone making it their business that my stuff got wet? It's my stuff! I dried it, I packed it, and I went on with my life. Cuh-rist. Totally not the end of the world. Worse shit happens all the time. Like that goddamn bee I stepped on. This is RIDICULOUS. And tell me, what the fuck do they mean by "food"? I never had any problems with food. Who is dealing this information? You say all the new members of camp have issues. All of them. If so many people were claimed to have problems, don't you think, for one second, that the problem lies within the household and not with the people who show up? It's starting to sound to me like these aren't isolated incidents. Baby, thank you for telling me I'm so welcome, but the truth of the matter is, I don't want to come back. I was made to feel ridiculously loved and adored at Barton, and 2 months later at Pennsic, those ties, that love, all gone. Everyone was cold, distant, rude, and pretty basically mean. I never felt welcome, I never felt at home, I never felt wanted. I was always out of place, it seemed. Unlike how it had been at Barton. Very few of you still wanted to be my "friend" so to speak- most of whom had never met me before. I really want to do this, Bas. I've never done anything this big, and I never see things through to completion. I'm going to do this for myself (and the umpteen people I'm bringing with me who have never been to an SCA event before...) I'm not a fighter. It's pointless for me to force myself to be comfortable in a household that has nothing to do with my interests. And honey- when you get tired of the intrigue, gossip mongering, mindless sex and drunkard's drunkard's, you will be -most- welcome at Featherfoil. I love you.

Date: 2004-10-20 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Wait.. I am *really* confused. I've lost the thread here. Who wrote this? Is everybody okay?

Date: 2004-10-20 11:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Things got a bit out of kilter when I deleted the original entries and reposted them without the author's signature (to convey some miniscule amount of courtesy and anonymity on my part, which I think is more than they deserve right now). This is all *very* old news.

Date: 2004-10-20 12:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]


i've decided i loathe LJ drama. *sigh*

Date: 2004-10-20 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks for the sentiments. While I'm not generally fond of LJ drama (having unreasonably caused more than my fair share of it several years ago), this particular instance was just too good not to comment on.

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Date: 2004-10-20 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sounds lovely. I have come to the conclusion that I probably don't know any of the people involved ('cept you, of course, and you're kind of tangential) and for this I am glad.

Godspeed. Repeat after me: "I have done my time, it's not my fucking problem. I have done my time, it's not my fucking problem." Add Zen, a bit of "om," mix, and repeat.

Date: 2004-10-20 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Thank you. A most impeccable set of advice. I plan on kicking back and waiting to see the fallout from those who refuse to acknowledge their own responsibilities in this mess. And when I read it, I shall laugh. Lots.


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From: [identity profile] - Date: 2004-10-20 01:39 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2004-10-20 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I love that mantra..... I've got to remember it.

Date: 2004-10-20 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm very sorry to hear about all your problems with drama. I hope it will get solved or you will be able to hide from it.

I hear I missed a lot of drama this past weekend at a local Sci-Fi Con and I'm incredibly glad I went to battle and shot people instead.

Date: 2004-10-20 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Be ever so glad that you are oh-so-many miles away. This is all happening literally twenty feet away from me and I am *not* getting involved. Not in lj, not in real life, not with any parties. And I mean any parties for there are several dramas occuring simultaneously.
Unfortunately being a peacekeeper here, tends to get one shot.
So I am staying in the background and watching those that are sitting at the kid's table at the moment.

Honestly, I envy you your distance.

mm. blissful ignorance....

Date: 2004-10-20 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
on a completely different topic... will you be at Dennyage tomorrow? I have a roll of film of your parent's that is possibly as old as we...

Re: mm. blissful ignorance....

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Date: 2004-10-20 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Funny, somehow I seem to miss all of the drama around here. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I'm kinda happy I'm purposely keeping myself the odd man out. There's too much drama going on for me to keep track of annyway. Must suck to be so far away from all of it and still end up itnessing the dramedy.

So who failed their saving throw?

Date: 2004-10-20 04:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The random wandering monster
or the villiage idiot?

Poor decision opera

Date: 2004-10-20 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I think I guessed the nature of the drama and I don't regularly read the lj's of the people involved.

*Enjoying my place as a second hand sectator, wondering if we will get to Poor decision Opera on Ice*
From: [identity profile]
I'm not normally one for drama, but I'm just glad it's not me. I'll have to sleuth out this new bit of intrigue...

As for involvement with siblings, um.....whoa.


Date: 2004-10-20 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Okay, my 2 cents again.

If someone slept with me and one of my siblings (hell, my brother or my sister, being that my brother's gay) I think I'd be incredibly repulsed for all time. My god--how do you deal with that? Is there anyone on this increasingly nongreen Earth who would be okay with that, or is it just me?

I'm all for the kink, don't get me wrong, but this disgusts me on one of the most fundamental levels. Besides, isn't the best sex based on a structure of mutual trust? It's one thing to violate that with some unknown other man or woman, yet another to choose a sibling.

Is it just me who's so freaking bothered by this notion? Why do people do these bad, bad things, Daddy?

Re: wow.

Date: 2004-10-21 05:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Robin, I was watching "Totally 80's" last night all hopped up on Nyquil and they had a segment on V C Andrew's "Flowers in the Attic."

And I remember thinking, back in 1987 when I was 6, "Ewwwww, why would anyone do that?!?! You can't sleep with your brother!!!"

Ha, ha, I guess it's appropriate this morning. I think the worst I've ever done was unknowingly slept with three roommates in the same summer. We all didn't figure it out until I slept over at the third guys place instead of my place. Ah the hilarity.
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