mrbigsteve | (no subject)

It is days like today that make me wonder about my role as a mediator among the different circles I meander in. It is also days like today that make me ever so immensely glad to not be in Albany any more.

Last week was a bit odd for me... I had a number of people unfriend me, one a day. Now normally, this kind of thing would make me go "eh". The first was doing a purge, and we never really had that strong of a relationship anyway. The second may have just been doing some cleaning, the third was... I don't know quite what the third was. Whatever. It was just the timing of things that made me stop for a moment.

Fast forward to this week and I am watching a veritable shitstorm of drama flying around people in the capital district. A war because, quite frankly, one person didn't think. The point at which their thought processes stopped is subject to opinion. Perhaps it was when they found someone's LJ account open and decided to read through entries that they were otherwise barred from. Perhaps it was when they wrote about breaking the trust among a number of people just because they wanted to get their spiteful little jollies. Maybe it was when they decided to *brag* about doing such a thing and spit forth numerous inflammatory comments about what they'd read. (If you're still waffling on whether they possess cerebral capacities at all, this person promptly threw up their hands, denied all blame in the matter, and cut and run. While not polite, this may turn out to be their first intelligent decision in the process)

Of course, faulty thought processes are not solely the realm of this person. When someone gets involved with one sibling, then the other, and nobody actually talks to anyone else about it and hurt feelings are the result, "Really fucking dumb" can be freely applied to any of them. Rest assured, dear readers, it has been. Numerous times. Unfortunately, I've not done so directly since I've been removed by 150 miles or more.

It is easy for me to sit back now, look at these people, and say "What a dumbass." Had I been local when all of this was starting up, I might have gathered the energy to sit the aforementioned siblings down and say "What the FUCK do you think you're doing?" (the first non-thinker referenced above was written off years ago back when they wrote what I feel to be one of the most self-important (and simultaneously condescending and self-denying) letters I've ever seen a 19 year old put to text)

The peacemaker in me pokes his head out and asks "Could I have done something to stop this?"

And the part of me that has spent so much time developing comes forth to say "It's not your fucking problem."

And then I kick back with another beer to wait and see who'll be the next person to fall through the ice on hypothermia theater.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Or maybe this one?

Um, yeah. Hawk mentioned stuff to me at Hunter's last year which was, in the majority, fiction. I had no idea where he came up with half of that stuff, and I figured it was just hearsay, but now you're mentioning it too.

I'm not sure what precisely you mean by 'food and shelter" but here's what Hawk said that was just entirely false

That I "had a problem leaving my dishes under the bigtop or back in the sink and that I should know that everyone is expected to clean up after thmselves." Bollocks I left my dishes anywhere. The only time I /ever/ had my dishes out of my tent were for the pig roast and the last day food merge feast. I never left them anywhere because every meal I didn't eat topside I ate in my tent, out of my cooler, all by myself. I cleaned them with clorox wipes, and they went back into their neat little pile under my viking chair. I'm sure my tankard spent an excessive amount of time under the bigtop, but so did everone elses. Please elaborate on what the actual problem here is.

Then Hawk went on to tell me that on the night of the storm, when I had to kick out the poles on my screen room and spread the tarp over it that I was "/complaining/ that I had to spend the night under the big top." Give me such a break. I did nothing of the sort. Now, I'm not sure what Sylvie, who was my roommate, was doing, because after we dropped the tent she disappeared. I quite humbly gathered up my bedding and slept on the ground next to the camel hump. I didn't whine, I didn't complain, I didn't scream or cry or moan or anything of the sort. In the morning when a good chunk of my stuff was wet, I gave it the typical Ali cynically embittered "Figures with my luck" and cleaned everything up, dried it, packed it, and got ready to go home. I was pretty sad that I managed to murder my fox that I had just bought the night prior, but hey. Life goes on.

(to be continued...)

Where are you saving these things from? This was two years ago?

Sick, sick man. You'd make a better lawspeak than Mopey.

It's just that some things, like particular wines, can only best be appreciated after they've had time to mature... or perhaps fester.

I handled everything myself until Jaime bailed on me as my ride home at the end of war week. Now, Katy, put yourself in my place, okay? It's your first Pennsic. Your ride bails on you on a Tuesday night saying "We're leaving in the morning if you're coming with us." You're having the time of your
life. You say, "Don't worry, I'll figure something out" because you always do. That's the night of your camp's biggest party. Everyone is drunken stupid. Everyone wakes up late moaning and sobbing because they had too much to drink. You finally stumble out of your tent around noon. Next thing you know you have all 25 members of the camp screaming at you, staring you down, telling you that you're stupid and immature. You maybe had all of 12 hours since you found out to begin with. I didn't HAVE a good chunk of time to ask for assistance. It was so predictable, I should have seen it coming. You're talking about my levels of maturity? Let's talk about Mr. Jason, who had offered, MONTHS before Pennsic (because we go back fairly far), to take half my stuff there in the bronco, and take it home again. Finds out I can't find a ride home and turns into a flaming hemmorhoid. Nothing changed for him, he was still taking home my stuff. He knew that. Instead, Hawk had to take it home, and now Hawk hates me, too. Jason doesn't speak to me anymore, because he's an idiot. And I love him, and I always will, and he's just being stupid about the entire situation.

I also got wind from Hawk about how I didn't help out enough. Okay, look. Every time (EVERY SINGLE LAST TIME) I went to help with something one of two things always happened. Someone would say, "It's alright, we have all the help we need" or they'd say "Nah, we're not going to tear it down/put it up/etc til, like, 5. So go do whatever you guys are doing." And a bunch of us would go do whatever we were doing and we'd get back, with hours to spare, and it would already be done, and we'd be receiving glowering looks. This happened with tearing down the bigtop, and involving something else I can't remember at this point. But weveryone was livid, and it was like, Hello? You said to come back at 6 if I wanted to help. And here I am, and it's only 3.

I cannot believe the amount of shit I got blamed for, told I did wrong, told was unacceptable, etc. I never did any of it, and I swear to god, I'm just starting to think this is the way you treat the new person. Especially you, Katy. I cannot believe how many times I've tried to be nice to you, and you
kick me in the ass.

Well, my fingers have lost all of their feeling and I'm really tired of typing, so I'll just leave it here. Thanks a lot.

Y'know, I wish I remembered what I said, so I could know if I was lying to her or not. Altho at this point, it's really not my problem, mostly morbid curiosity. Tho I did wind up getting stuck hauling her crap back. I think that was the year I hauled a stretcher to pennsic for portersville, in the back of my truck, so there was at least room there, when she needed it.

And boasting that you've read someone's closed livejournal is just plain stupid. and lord knows, i've seen enough stupid in my life.

--Hawk

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